I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
