I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
