wanna go halves on a baby?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
