omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize