Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
