eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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