you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
