the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Houston, we have a squirter
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
