70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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