you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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