The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i don't like sucking hair
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
