Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
