Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
