I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
