what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize