It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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