Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
