I got her a Nickelback box set.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Boobs speak an international language.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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