And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have fence marks all over my body
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
