I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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