$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
