i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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