why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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