i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
