My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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