my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i think my mom watched the whole time
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
this just has baby written all over it
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
