therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
