when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
