Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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