Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
