he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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