wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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