Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
