Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
