Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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