k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
