Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
