i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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