your room smells of hookers.
And success
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize