You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
