I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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