one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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