he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
