On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
