I should be sponsored by Trojan
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
