My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
