i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
