my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize