Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
