if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
