I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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