Dual....:-)
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
