Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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