I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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