I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
