The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
