This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
two words...techno handjob
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He has the fingertips of a God
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