I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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