it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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