I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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