whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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