In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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