season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
