I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
