eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
